She walked in my office smiling and exuding confidence. She was bright, engaging and seemed to have things under control. Then as we talked about her situation, she expressed a doubt. Then a tear came to her eyes. Then it all came pouring out. She was frustrated, tired, confused, and felt stuck. And that’s when I knew why she had come for coaching.
This is not a one-time scenario. It happens frequently in my business. I work with many high potential women who are holding it all together on a daily basis. But underneath, something’s churning. Something is not quite right, yet they don’t know what. They feel stuck.
Sometimes “stuck” comes from being in a job too long. Sometimes it’s out of frustration that they’re working hard and not being noticed. Sometimes its just from restlessness and a yearning for more. But always, the feeling of being “stuck” has these characteristics:
Feeling like we’re not in control: When we’re stuck, it’s likely because we feel that someone else holds all the cards to our options. Rarely are we in a position where we have no control. Think about the things you are in control of. You have at least some choices on whether you come to work, who you spend time with, how you spend your leisure time, whether you stay or go from your job, etc. Expand your thinking and consider all the things you really do control.
Confused: Being stuck is often accompanied with confusion. The issues are clouded in our heads. Stress makes it even harder to see through the fog. What’s the antidote? Explore your options. No need to choose one just yet, just seek information on what the possibilities could be.
Paralyzed by fear: When we’re “stuck” we often spend too much time allowing our thoughts to churn about where we are. That takes us further down into the spiral of worry, resentment, frustration, all of which keep us where we are. All it takes is one action, one small step of change to get us moving in a different direction. Who can you talk to? What could you do differently today? Where can you go for a change of scenery? Get out of your head and into your feet – take an action.
Feeling alone: “This feels like something I should be able to figure out on my own.” We say this, but the reality is that we’re supposed to support each other. Ever heard “two heads are better than one”? We need the support of others, in good times but especially when things get hard. Call on your mentors, friends. Get a coach. Take a class. Do something with people where you can receive encouragement and come to understand that you are not alone in your situation. There are many out there will are willing and able to walk this journey with you.
If you’re feeling stuck and would like support in moving forward, let’s talk. Schedule a complimentary 20 minute Coaching Discovery Call where we’ll explore whether coaching would be right for you.
Photo: Graja/Shutterstock
